Dog's life

Why do people who are older, more experienced and in a position of higher authority feel the need to talk down to other people?

I am related to someone who has an awful habit of doing this. I wouldn't expect a stranger to speak down to me, let alone someone who shares the same family as myself.

It irritates me beyond belief. I accept in many cases that the person is wiser/more experienced/has more authority than me. And you know what? I am thrilled for them. I can only hope one day that I am as wise/experienced as they are. I really do.

However, that doesn't mean that everyone else is lesser than they are. Nothing makes them any less of a person. Why then, do people feel that it's ok to treat people and speak to people like they are dogs? I can't fathom it.

Respect is a two-way street, believe it or not. When I, for example, disrespect these same people, I am quickly reprimanded and made to feel even smaller than usual. Double standards, anyone?

Treat me as equal and you can expect the exact same in return - it's as simple as that.

Hope is a sustaining human gift

It has been said that the only real things in life can seen with our own eyes - even in the dark. How does one describe hope then? Hope is a very real thing, seen every day, every where, in everyone. It has the power to change minds, perspectives - even people themselves.

Hope is a sustaining human gift. It can be given and received by all. We, as people, rely on hope as much as we depend on food and water. We breathe to believe that things will better; that every cloud has a silver lining. Maybe there is a pot of gold at the end of that elusive rainbow.

Hope, as a gift, is a contradictory one. It is selfish and indulgent - who doesn't wish for one's own personal success? We hope we achieve good grade, good exam results, a good college course, a good job. Even more-so, we hope for the downfall of others - especially those who are succeeding in areas where we are not.

On the contrary, hope is selfless and altruistic. To give or to be given hope is a joyous experience, making it one of the greatest gifts of all. A person's reassurance in times of high stress and anxiety gives hope in abundance. 'Things can get better from here', 'the only way is up', among other clichéd phrases have been uttered to one or other of us before. Don't you feel better after hearing them - maybe even a little more hopeful?

Young, old, male, female - regardless of who we are, our capacity for hope unites us. What do gamblers and the terminally ill have in common? Nothing, you might think. You would, however, be wrong. Hope is the most common fibre of our being. Both rely on hope in grief and loss - be it of the physical or the financial sense.

Probably a more significant question then the definition of hope - "what is hopelessness?" Hopeless could almost be described as an illness as severe as pneumonia, as chronic as a cold, as debilitating as scoliosis. We tend to lose hope in the face of adversity. This is a dangerous path.  Mental illness, depression and suicide all stem from the roots of hopelessness. Hope nourishes as well as any meal that will ever pass your lips. Those who are starved of hope live unsustainable, unfulfilled lives.

How many of you reading this have ever been told not to get your hopes up, by a peer, an authority figure or even by a parent? I condemn this hypocritical 'advice'. Young people are always being preached to about having high aspirations, to set goals and achieve them and (going back to some good old clichés), to reach for the stars and follow your dreams. So pardon me if I find it hugely patronising when an adult informs me I should go against this entirely, for fear of being disappointed. Disappointment is not something that should be feared. It is part and parcel of life. It shapes who we are as people. How can we expect anything good when we don't expect anything at all? High hopes sustain us to drive us further, work harder and dream bigger.

I sincerely hope I have not prattled on for too long, and I especially hope I have not bored you to tears. I hope you have gained something from this piece. Hope is a sustaining human gift. It is free to everyone, for as long as they walk this earth. Hope does not come with terms and conditions or strings attached. hope propels us to give our best in every aspect of our lives. In the words of Albert Einstein: "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow".

Not 'goodbye', just 'see you later': how emigration has effected me

How many of you, given the current economic climate in Ireland and abroad, have had someone close to you emigrate recently?

2 weeks ago, one of my closest friends for 10 years emigrated to America with her mother, stepfather, and two younger brothers. Hand-on-heart, it was one of the hardest things I've had to do in my short life.

The move was not motivated by the economy. There were many personal reasons for the move, and it would not be appropriate to discuss them here for public viewing. They found out shortly after Christmas that the step-father's name had been drawn for the Green-card Lottery, and had just under 5 months to prepare for the biggest move they had ever faced - individually and as a family.

To be quite honest, the enormity of it all didn't hit me until the following days. It was the little details that upset me most. It was seeing the driveway empty of the family cars. It was seeing the refrigerator stripped of the amusing fridge magnets that I was so familiar with. It was seeing the shelves bare of photographs documenting each stage of the childrens' lives. It was seeing my best friend's room turned into nothing but an empty shell, full of boxes. It was knowing that this would be the last time I'd ever be in this house with my 'second family', as I had so affectionately nicknamed them. It was realising that this was actually happening.

Emigration has far-reaching consequences, and not just for the family themselves. The childhood best friends are left with lingering memories. Their large extended families are left without nieces, nephews and cousins. An empty chair in a classroom. A cleaned-out office space. It broke my heart a little bit to see them go.

Nowadays, however, thanks to the beauty that is modern technology, I can remain in contact with my friend quite easily, (Viber, Skype, I am forever in your debt), and her step-dad's regular Instagram uploads allow me to 'oooh' and 'awwwww' appropriately at her little brothers living the American dream. I've told her I'll visit next summer following the Leaving Cert. That all depends on whether I save up enough money and get a job, which, in this recession, is proving near to impossible. The economy is clearly determined to drive me away from my friend!

I can't help but feel on edge as to who'll be next, as it is inevitable - she will not be the last of my friends to emigrate within the next year or two. Be it for financial reasons or not, more and more people are emigrating every day. Who will it be next? Maybe it'll be even closer to home? My brother or sister perhaps? I'm not sure my poor little heart could bear it. Why whether the exact same storm somewhere far away when you can do it in the comfort of your home, surrounded by the people that love you?

Perhaps I'm just being selfish. Or perhaps the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence. Take your pick.