A couple of weeks ago, an article was brought to my attention by a friend, on the website "for masculine men", Return Of Kings. (I would hyperlink it, but I refuse to let Drumbeat Heart be responsible for any more traffic to the site). The title of the article was, '5 Reasons To Date A Girl With An Eating Disorder'. I have refrained from responding to the article until now. My response can be read below).
In November of last year, a 'writer', (I use the title loosely), called Tuthmosis published an article on Return Of Kings, listing the five reasons why men shouldn't date women with eating disorders. Eating disorders affect up to 24 million Americans (where the website is based) and 70 million individuals worldwide, according to the The Renfrew Center Foundation for Eating Disorders. More interestingly, an estimated 10 to 15% of people with anorexia or bulimia are male, according to the Review of Bulimia in Males published by the American Journal of Psychiatry - the website's target audience.
Tuthmosis claims to have dated several women with eating disorders, who displayed the traits described in his article. However, I've found a couple of flaws in his theory that girls with eating disorders make ideal girlfriends.
1. Her obsession with her body will improve her looks
Not so. Symptoms of anorexia and bulimia include pale or even grey looking skin, hair loss, blood shot eyes, bruising under the eyes and cheeks and bruised knuckles. Symptoms of binge eating disorder can even include weight gain. No self-respecting man would want their woman looking like that, would they?
2. She costs less money
Again, this is debatable. The Lois Bridges centre my friend attended last year in North Dublin cost nearly €5,000 a week. Ouch. Plus, she's a woman, so she can't be expected to pay her own way, right? Right?!
3. She's fragile and vulnerable
No, actually, I can't even think of a valid way to rip the shit out of this point because it infuriates me too much.
4. She probably has money of her own
Refer back to point two.
5. She's better in bed
Let's go back to the symptoms, shall we? Loss of sexual desire, frequent sore throats, constipation and headaches will mean that you'll end up getting even less sex than you were having before, because you're an intolerably awful chauvinistic man.
Let's leave aside the fact that this article is completely anti-feminist, (his other 'articles' include 'Girls With Short Hair Are Damaged', and, '5 Signs A Girl Has Daddy Issues'). That's another argument for another day.
Let's address the fact that when you search for the article, Google auto-completes the search with 'satire'. Since when is encouraging stigmas about mental health and eating disorders satirical or humourous? Did I miss the turning point in comedy when laughing in the face of others' adversities became socially acceptable and cool?
I am one of those people that believe there is a line when it comes to comedy. This is more than offensive. This post could be viewed as triggering to those still suffering with an eating disorder.
The definition of satire is as follows: "attacking human vice with irony, derision or wit". Maybe I'm the only one, but I do not see the irony, or the wit in this piece. I see the words of an extremely troubled, insecure man. People misunderstand satire as much as they misunderstand the nature of eating disorders, meaning people as ignorant and deluded as Tuthmosis will take what he says on board.
You can say me being offended is political correctness gone crazy, or that I shouldn't be getting so upset over something that's just a joke. But when you've been in on the 'joke' and witnessed the suffering first hand, there rarely is a funny side, is there?
